I grew up in a 'Christian' home in Zimbabwe. My parents were teachers in the Lutheran school system so we lived a stone's throw away from the church building. We were in church every Sunday and took part in activities of the church.
During that period Zimbabwe was at war.
That's when I came to know about other activities that my family was involved in. Slaughtering cows and goats as sacrifices to the gods. This got me confused about my beliefs and those of my extended family. At a certain level I didn't want to follow this god of my family. Then there were special concoctions prepared by my grandfather that we had to eat for protection. When I became a teenager I started drifting away from all religious beliefs. It was too confusing. I got into the wrong crowd and found myself being more interested in the party life style. That is until I moved to Australia.
There were lots of incidents along the way that made me rethink my Christian life. I committed my life to Jesus Christ at a community hall in Brisbane. Unfortunately after receiving Christ, I came across teachings about God that led me to see myself as a worthless sinner.
It is necessary for me to say that perhaps it was because of my upbringing that I felt this way. Even when I read the Bible I saw myself as one of the wicked people that the Bible speaks about. I was always the first to repent week after week and still found myself having these self condemning thoughts.
On 6th March 2005 I visited my friend and she told her testimony. She was having a nerve root problem in her tooth and one afternoon she had felt like she was dying because of the pain. She was alone at home in terrible pain when the doorbell rang. There were two young boys at the door. Her first thought was what these boys were doing door knocking when it was school hours. They had a Bible and they asked if they could come in for a chat. She told them about her tooth and they prayed with her and left. She shut the door and immediate thought of inviting them back in for a drink. They had simply vanished in the twinkling of an eye.
She looked up and down her street. They were gone. So I told my friend that God had sent her a couple of angels.
The next day my son was not well so I called in sick at work. I walked to the nearest shop centre with my baby in the stroller. As we were walking I saw a man begging. i became at that moment acutely aware of my conversation with Eunice the day before. I said to myself you never know who this could be. As I got closer the man he lifted his head looked straight into my eyes and said, "The Bible says a woman will be saved through child birth. You are blessed and your baby is blessed." While he was talking I knew this was a message for me from the throne of grace.
Since that day I have not had those feelings of worthlessness. I read the Bible and don't feel condemned. In fact the Bible has become for me a love letter from heaven. When I pray I have visions of a man in white robes. Sometimes he is hugging me. Other times I see his hands with fresh wounds in them. These visions only began after my encounter with the poor man on the road to the shops. I encourage all who do not yet know Jesus to ask Him to reveal Himself to them, because as long as you are sincere He will come to you.